Wednesday, March 11, 2009

To Mr. Now You See Me:

Dear Pants Guy,

You're there one minute, and then next? No where to be found. Why is it that you always disappear. 
I know that we've been friends for a while now, If that's what you could call us, so why the hesitation?

Everyone says that if a guy likes you, than he'll let you know. That he'll want to be around you, and that he'll call you. Now, while I don't necessarily believe all of the "you're worth it" propaganda, and I'm pretty sure that most guys don't have the balls to call a girl up and tell her how they feel, I'd think that if that girl had spent significant amounts of time with you that it'd boost your confidence just a little bit. 

I'm Tired of not knowing. 
 I know we're not friends... friends don't spend the night, friends don't snuggle up, and friends certainly don't kiss more often than a drunken mistake. Then what are we? I'm certainly not your girl, and we are clearly not dating. Am I a "booty call"?  Really, do you value me as a person at all? Do you even know me?
I like to think that you do know me, and that you are just hesitant to act on your feelings. Maybe you're afraid of commitment, or that you'll be disappointed. I know you've had bad experiences in the past, but I didn't think that you were that effected or changed. Maybe it's me who doesn't know you well.

Of course, I bitch about how you never make a move, and how maybe you don't know me, but perhaps you know me better than I know myself. Maybe you can feel my indecision. To be completely honest, I'd be scared to be in a relationship with you- there are so many factors that I just overthink between us. You're temper isn't a problem, it's almost your lack of it. You joke that you don't have emotions, but it's that lack of emotions that makes me nervous. I know you do, and I also know that it's not "manly" to show them.  You're so easy going that you don't care about what you do, about where you're going, what you want to do. If you can't be passionate about your life, how could you feel that way about me? 
I'm not saying that I wouldn't give us a chance. I think that I would. It could be great, if we both let it be. That's the problem, that right time-- right place moment. If we could both get it together. The only problem is that you aren't around long enough to see.

Peace, Love, and All That Other Jazz
Sign me,

Cautious to Care at All

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